Do you go through life feeling totally misunderstood? If the answer is yes, you’re not alone. This is a problem a lot of people have, and it can be incredibly frustrating — especially when it feels like people are misreading you at every turn. If this is an issue you’ve been struggling with, it could be that your habits are throwing people off.
While you shouldn’t let this make you self-conscious, it’s always a good idea to take a step back and evaluate how others may be perceiving you. It’s important to know how you’re coming across because ultimately your intentions mean very little when it comes to social interactions. Communication (including body language) isn’t about what you intend to say so much as how you’re heard. This requires being present to how you may come across.
So take a moment to check in with yourself, and try to see your actions (and gestures, and expressions) from an outside perspective. Are you super sarcastic? Do you zone out when people speak to you? Below, a few more habits that can make people misunderstand you, for the worse
Being A Little Too Sarcastic – There’s nothing wrong with sarcasm, and it definitely has its place in small doses. But if this is your go-to way of communicating, it can cause problems. People can read into it and some of them may even feel mocked or teased. That’s definitely not the intention.
Hiding Your Emotions – In an effort to be polite or well-liked, some people hide their emotions or keep their expression neutral. But this makes it almost impossible for others to get a good read on you. Without emotional cues, what you say and why you’re saying it can easily be misinterpreted,
Not Being Fully Present – It’s pretty normal to be a least a little bit distracted when chatting with someone. You might check your phone, or kind of drift off thinking about your to-do list. But failing to be present in this way can give off some rather rude vibes. Right or wrong, others may conclude that we are disinterested and disengaged.
Failing To Actually Listen – While you certainly don’t have to completely change your personality, paying attention to your little, everyday habits and adjusting them where necessary can mean projecting your realest self, and feeling more understood. Sometimes we must understand others perception of us and how we shape that with our small actions, presence and abilities to engage and grow in our relations with others.
My instructor once left me with this – comprehension follows perception.
Peace and Love, Jim
