Grow On. . .
They say forgiving is easy, but forgetting is another thing. Letting go of past hurts may seem trickier than forgiving someone, because when it is the past that hurts you this time, there is no one left to confront or to blame. I guess forgiveness does not happen the same time as moving on. Hard truth isn’t it?
It is one thing to be able to forgive someone. In any relationship, we are always bound to be hurt and also be the cause of the pain. I have realized thru many occasions that forgiving is only half the battle. For when the ghost of the painful past comes to visit, a fresh wound, which surprisingly still stings, comes back again and again.
So how do we let go of past hurts? How do we stop getting hurt from the thing of the past when we have already been okay for a long time? How do we take in these little things that remind us of disappointment and betrayal, and stop it in its tracks?
It begins with yourself.
First I tell myself that the past coming back thru flashes of memory, or triggers has not got something to with that person who hurt me, anymore.
I am hurting right now, but this is all me. My own triggers, my own mind, my own choice of thinking. I cannot confront anyone for a mistake that we have both moved on from. It is merely the past trying to emerge from random triggers.
And no matter how much I would like to drag this event from its hidden box back to life, I can’t. It is something I have to deal with by myself.
I have to let the offender off the hook, even if I badly want to do the opposite. This is something I have to deal with by myself.
Just that awareness stops the potentials pity party on its tracks, and allows me to stand on my feet. I have this. I am in charge of this. I may have been hurt before, but the past coming back to me is now my responsibility, not anyone else’s.
Betrayal, pain and hurt can be like that. Even if you have made your resolutions before. Even when all is good and thriving.. sometimes, all it takes is a mere word, or a place or a scent.. and that wound, surprisingly fresh will come back to say hello.
But it is up to you now… whether to let it hurt and cripple you like it did before.. or will you let it make you stronger and better and better until one day, when it decides to come back again, you can only smile…and nothing will hurt you anymore.
Peace and Love, Jim
#growth #thedailybuddha
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