Hungry Ghosts. . .
In Buddhist cosmology, one of the psychic domains that is described is the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts. The hungry ghost figures are depicted with scrawny little necks and huge bellies — riddled with powerful desires they can never really satisfy. Nearly everyone I know struggles with their own version of the hungry ghost syndrome.
In a very human way, desires are natural and wholesome. They are necessary for us to survive and flourish. The challenge is that, to the degree that our basic needs for safety, bonding, and a healthy sense of our value are unmet, desire contracts and we become fixated on substitutes. Whether it’s alcohol or drugs, or perfectionism, or approval, it catches and confines us. It creates tremendous pain and stops us from living from a deeper sense of presence and love.
You might take a short pause right now, and think about some way that you regularly get hooked into an addictive pattern and then turn on yourself because of it — taking a moment to really contact the place of shame and self-aversion and be with it. Can you sense what it most needs? You might experiment with a soothing gesture of kindness . . . a hand on your heart or on your cheek. If you could offer one message, from the highest, most evolved part of yourself, to that place of shame, what would be most helpful?
Whatever we practice regularly is strengthened. When met with compassion, the hungry ghost begins to lose its power. When we notice and understand the triggers behind the addictive looping, we become more conscious and can make different choices about how we respond. If we practice going after substitutes, we strengthen those pathways. But the invitation here is that, in any moment, we can notice what is happening and choose to pause and bring a real tenderness to the parts of us that feel ashamed and empty…the hole in our soul. We can remember that love is always loving us. We can touch a quality of grace and tenderness that can hold us. Practicing mindfulness and self-compassion can free our hearts from the suffering and shame of the hungry ghost.
Peace and Love, Jim
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