Shadow. . .

There is a common misconception that self-love and self-hate are mutually exclusive, and that they are polar opposites of a spectrum. What I’ve found (and I know this may not apply to everyone) is that within one, there is the shadow of the other. When I speak of self-love, I’m not talking about self confidence or a healthy self-esteem. I’m talking about those times when we inflate our ego or self-image, wrap it in bubble wrap and get all defensive when other people or circumstances seek to burst our imaginary bubble. Self-hate describes those times when the ego is deflated, the bubble has burst and it looks like it’s never going to come back. It’s those times when we punish ourselves with guilt, blame, anger, mistrust, pessimism and negativity. Looking at these descriptions, it seems like self-love and self-hate are so different they can’t possibly be linked. Yet when you look deeper into each of them, you realize they both stem from the same place and share the same qualities. That commonality is the “self”. The self is obvious in self-love where the ego is grasping onto everything that uplifts it. Yet the self is also dominant in self-hate, because when someone is lost in self-hate, they are consumed in their own preoccupations and misery. So the exercise for this week is to take notice of the self-talk that happens in your head throughout the day. Believe it or not, every person talks to themselves in the head, some just louder than others. Become familiar with the type of ‘talk’ that goes on in your mind. Don’t react to them (don’t need to talk back to them either!), and try not to get caught up in them either. Just watch/ hear what kind of talk happens in your mind. In dropping the self-centredness and attachment that you hold to your ‘self’, open yourself up to the possibility of love that is unconditional, boundless, non-discriminatory, and pure. Love that is the same for yourself, and the same for those around you. Let unconditional love shine a little light on the shadows of self.