The Two Edges of Control. . .
Control is hot topic in both Buddhist circles and societal circles. The sides of control, who has it and who doesn’t can often be overwhelming and many choose to avoid the topic all together.
This feeling, for the record, is psychologically supported by the internal “Locus of Control” theory – which proves that the more “in control” of our lives we feel, the better we feel about ourselves and our ability to perform.
That’s not to say that exercising control, as much as possible, in your life isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s a very good thing! And this is something we can easily do by taking such actions as: constructing your ideal daily routine and plans that support such a goal.
Yet at the same time, it isn’t healthy OR realistic to think that we can control everything that unfolds in our lives. And one of the best ways we can give ourselves over to this fact, and be okay with releasing total control is by accepting that “what’s meant to happen will happen.” And that with the right perspective and attitude it happens graciously and with purpose ( I know thats a hard one).
I’ve found that comes into play a lot with making big decisions. If there was a big decision in my life that I was struggling with, it was giving myself permission to hit “pause” and trust that the right outcome will either present itself or unfold naturally. (This also has to do with developing the habit of patience – something I’ve talked about before – and the sense of self-connection it creates).
Agonizing over big decisions (that we may or may not have control over in the first place) just creates more stress for us – stress that can be avoided or minimized if we just TRUST that what’s meant to happen will happen. The best you can do is prepare, show up as your best self and TRUST that “life is unfolding for you” and not “against you”
When you relinquish some of that control over what’s meant to unfold in your life, you may just find that you get what you wanted all along.
Peace and Love, Jim
#twosides #thedailybuddha
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